the newness of being free and not shackled feels so strange. freedom is a good thing, one would think. but it feels weird...kind of like it felt when i got my arm cast off when i was 7. SO nice to not itch anymore and have that smelly thing on, but my free arm had to catch up with the feeling of being a few pounds lighter and able to move. it had me feeling light-headed at first and not sure how to walk around in that new-found freedom. so, I keep pinching myself and realizing there are empty holes to fill in now...holes I used to fill with crappy, bad, not-good-for me or God-honoring thoughts. the tendency is to lean towards the familiar and go wade around in the muck again. i haven't felt the need to fight it until last week. it was a fight, but i didn't hang out in the swamp too long. i looked around me and thought, "this isn't who i am" and just left. sigh.
Lord, help me fill in the holes with good things...with You. i want more and more of You, because it's only you who truly satisfies. thanks for setting me free....now turn me loose to set my little part of the world on fire for you. it's all i've ever wanted.