Easy is not His plan.

I'm back. It has been over a year since I've written. Life has been insane, but in all the busy-ness, I've missed writing. I've missed having time to think about writing.

Last year, I started yet another job. Actually, it seemed to fall out of the sky as I never in a million years imagined I'd actually get the job after applying for it. It seemed like a long shot, but I felt something (Someone?) nudging me to apply, so apply I did. I can't count how many times I've asked God over the past year, "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" and "WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO????" This job has stretched me in ways I didn't know I could be stretched. Every day is different, full of one crisis and potentially life-changing decision after another. And as I stop to take time to reflect, I am humbled that He would choose me to walk into the chaos that is my job and be allowed to see Him work in ways I can't even really comprehend.

Working in the community mental health field is a window to a population of people who are hurting, downtrodden, exhausted, and often alone. Our staff (myself, 7 social workers, and an office assistant) work with hundreds of people each month, doing our best to get them connected with the services they need to live and function within the community. In the same day, we could see a client die from drug overdose and another gladly discharge from one of our programs after meeting all of her goals. There are so many ups and downs that if you don't take time to get off the roller coaster, you could get pretty motion sick.

I'm away at a women's retreat, trying to regain my balance....find my equilibrium. I've racked my brains over the past year about how to survive in this job that demands so much from me. I've scanned the job announcements to see what else is out there that might be an easier way to make a living. A friend reminded me recently of my own words. I was on the treadmill a couple years ago preparing for my first half-marathon. It was so much work for my tired body and I asked God, "Why does life have to be so hard?" And He reminded me, "Easy is not in my plan. But I'll give you everything you need to do hard." So, my prayer today is that I'll take those words and embrace the "hard" that is my job, so much of my life these days. I want to lean into it with His grace to see amazing things happen in the lives of people who feel hopeless, at the end of their ropes.