Good Question

Someone asked me a good question yesterday, so here it is with my answer:

What does it mean that "You don't like the lack of order in your soul?"
It feels unorganized, messy, and even a little foggy. I've lived this fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants spirituality....taking in what everyone else tells me and running with it. I want to be my own person and think my own thoughts and feel my own way of feeling, so I'm diving into some murky water and not so sure what I'll see when the dust settles. Does that make sense? I'm asking God to clear the way and make Himself known to me the way He really is and not through the lens of everything I've read and learned and been told. That's where I"m at today. Good question....